It's May!!!

Hey All,

I can't believe it's May already! Where does the time go? It seems the older I get, the faster time flies. That's kind of scary because I'm only 18! What will it be like when I'm 30 then 40? That sounds like such a long time away but it's really not. But a comforting thought is knowing that in Heaven, we won't have to worry about time 'cause there won't be any. We will have eternity to do the things we want.

I guess this post is going to be as confusing as my thoughts are right now. I just wish that I knew what the Lord wants me to do concerning college and Mexico. I've had 2 offers for trips to Mexico next year which sound amazing. I also have a job offer at a restaurant that I substitute at. Then there's college. Do I do summer school or just stick with the fall semester? SO confusing!!! I just want to do what the Lord wants me to do but what is that? I know that I am to follow Him and serve Him wherever I'm at. But what about the future?

A friend shared this from Oswald Chambers My Utmost for His Highest. The title of the devotional is The Graciousness of Uncertainty: "Naturally we are inclined to be so mathematical and calculating that we look upon uncertainty as a bad thing. We imagine that we have to reach some end, but that is not the nature of spiritual life. The nature of spiritual life is that we are certain in our uncertainty, consequently we do not make our nests anywhere. Common sense says---'Well, supposing I were in that condition...' We cannot suppose ourselves in any condition we have never been in.
Certainty is the mark of the common sense life: gracious uncertainty is the mark of the spiritual life. To be certain of God means that we are uncertain in all our ways, we do not know what a day may bring forth. This is generally said with a sigh of sadness, it should be rather an expression of breathless expectation. We are uncertain of the next step, but we are certain of God. Immediately we abandon to God, and do the duty that lies nearest, He packs our life with surprises all the time. When we become advocates of a creed, something dies; we do not believe God, we only believe our belief about Him. Jesus said 'Except ye... become as little children.' Spiritual life is the life of a child. We are not uncertain of God, but uncertain of what He is going to do next. If we are only certain in our beliefs, we get dignified and severe and have the ban of finality about our views; but when we are rightly related to God, life is full of spontaneous, joyful uncertainty and expectancy.
'Believe also in Me,' said Jesus, not--- 'Believe certain things about Me.' Leave the whole thing to Him, it is gloriously uncertain how He will come in, but He will come. Remain loyal to Him."

God knew I needed to read this and meditate on it this week. I AM uncertain about my future but I am certain about God. Praise You, Father!

This post's picture is of my younger sister, Jennifer Marie. She is 16, almost 17 (Yes, 'You are 16 going on 17' is running through my head right now, too!) No, this picture does nothing for me. I look HORRID but it shows the kind of relationship Jenny and I have. I call her Juanita or Bubba depending on the day. Jenny is very talented with guitar and singing. She is looking into going to college for worship major. I'm excited to see how the Lord leads her. We do not have a perfect relationship either. I have struggled alot over the years with jealousy towards her because she is better at so much stuff than me. It's a constant battle for me. But the Lord helps me. I am consistently rude to her and my other sister and brother but they forgive me and are patient with me (usually). This is a better picture of us. We love to ride horses together and also eat Chinese food. My siblings and I have many precious memories together and I am so blessed to have all of them. I wouldn't trade them for anything. I joined a group on Facebook that says "Only I can fight with my siblings, you lay a finger on them, you die!" A bit violent perhaps but I'm a fierce defender of my siblings. I love them all SO much.

As usual, I've written what's on my heart. The only problem is my heart is confused right now so this post might be, too. I hope you are all blessed by this. I serve an amazing God. Praise Him! Cuidate.